Another Semi-humour Article, If I Ran A Mmorpg...


Mar 9, 2003
(move this to offtopic or lolfiles or somewhere if i'm clogging up the boards please, This is gonna be the last article for a while.)

If I ran a MMORPG...

If you complained about skill sets being unbalanced despite balance, you'd win a "null" class for everyone in the entire game for a day. Same stats, same level, same skills. Want those old unbalanced ones back yet? ;)

I would ban people simply for being smacktards and I would do almost every banning in person to add a nice kick of "it's personal" to it. "Why am I being banned!!ELEVENTYTWO?" "Because you suck."

If you wanted BS content that added nothing of value, I would let you have it, in a way you wouldn't like. [PVP/PK beggers? You are now killable and drop all of your items....but others who didn't whine are invincible to you.] ;)

If you griefed other players, I wouldn't ban you, I would use my GM power to take control of your character, and attack yourself, while shouting "Stop hitting yourself!" "Stop hitting yourself!" Before I reset you to level 1 with no gear or gold. :)

If you wanted more added to the world but wouldn't give me time, i'd add in stick figure monsters, and a sketchy wireframe section to the world temporarily untill I'm done with the actual parts. ;)

Insulted the devs? I'd challenge you to a duel for our honor, only i'm a GM and level 1000, and you're a big mouthed level 30 rogue. :lol:

Provided legit suggestions? I'd add them into the game and give you the suggested item free.

Sexually harassed anyone? I'd put you in a GM created dunk booth full of sharks and have all players of the gender you harassed line up and try and dunk you. Untill your health reached 0 :lol:

I would have a monty pythonesqe cave guarded by a level 100 bunny, but the monster inside the cave is only level 1.