SHIT HAPPENS
                       in various world religions
 
 
TAOISM:  Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM:  Confucius say, "Shit happens".
ZEN:  (What is the sound of shit happening?)
JESUITISM:  If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
ISLAM:  Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.
CATHOLICISM:  Shit happens because you are bad.
PSYCHOANALYSIS:  Shit happens because of your toilet training.
SCIENTOLOGY:  Shit happens if you're on our shit list.
ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens.  Let's have coffee and donuts.
RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:  Let this shit happen to someone else.
JUDAISM:  Why does shit always happen to US?
REFORM JUDAISM:  Got any Kaopectate?
MYSTICISM:  What weird shit!
AGNOSTICISM:  What is this shit?
ATHEISM:  I don't believe this shit!
NIHILISM:  Who needs this shit?
AZTEC:  Cut out this shit!
QUAKER:  Let's not fight over this shit.
FORTEANISM:  No shit??
12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
VOODOO:  Hey, that shit looks just like you!
NEWAGE:  Visualize shit not happening.
DEISM:  Shit just happens.
EXISTENTIALISM:  Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
SECULAR HUMANISM:  Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:  Shit is in your mind.
BUDDHISM:  Shit happens, but pay no mind.
SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
HINDUISM:  This shit has happened before.
WICCA:  Mix this shit together and make it happen!
HASIDISM:  Shit never happens the same way twice.
THEOSOPHY:  You don't know half of the shit that happens.
DIANETICS:  Your mother gave you shit before your were born.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:  No shit on Saturdays.
JEHOVAH's WITNESSES:  No shit happens until Armageddon.
MOONIES:  Only happy shit really happens.
HOPI:  Corn fertilizer happens.
BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.
STOICISM:  This shit is good for me.
OBJECTIVISM:  Our shit is good for you.
EST:  If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.
REAGANISM:  Don't move; the shit will trickle down.
FASCISM:  Shit makes the trains run on time.
CARGO CULT:  A barge will come and take all the shit away.
EMACS:  Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
DISCORDIANISM:  Some funny shit happened to me today.
RASTAFARIANISM:  Let's smoke this shit.
CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.
MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.
RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.