The "what If It Was Called"-Thread


Gnorf

Still Fresh
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
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People often say to me: "Gnorf, you're a smart guy". Since I'm a humble and non-pretentious person, I simply reply: "Yes". Today, I was sorting my Amiga floppies in the order of how good the contained games are compared to Monkey Island. Exile gave me trouble since it has an impressive game design but forces you to confront annoying birds. During the sorting, I began thinking of gaming devices and their odd titles. Let's take two hand held examples: Game.com and Barcode Battler. The first one is pretty hard to get online and the second one suggest that it will let me battle barcodes which, granted, is true but since it also makes ME a barcode, it's like sticking the title Human Fighter on Street Fighter. Scary stuff, huh?

Anyway, I figured I'd put my mind to use and make this thread. In this thread, I urge all of you to make up titles of gaming consoles which either provide ample amount of humor when read aloud or provide ample amount of humor when simply read. In this spirit of christmas, I hereby give you a few examples in which I also attach some of those whimsical Chinese warning texts. To you freudian scholars (misnomer), my wife is in the other end of the country so I'm forced to think about my penis for the both of us so these are troubling times and shouldn't really be spent doing free associations.

Example 1, read aloud.
Device title: Game Master
Slogan: Encounter the beast.
Warning: If used frequently. Move seating position in order to prevent lumbar damage.

Example 2, simply read and let your fantasy flow.
Device title: Pocket Player
Slogan: So small that it doesn't even attract attention in public.
Warning: Excessive usage may cause damaging friction.
 
Device: The Wiz
Slogan: "When taken AND IF leakage occur. IF so, THEN gph will provide solution by END OF 2031. *BOOL*."
 
Device: Leapfrog Didj
Slogan: "Portable pedophilia."
Warning: "Learning not guaranteed."
Suggested use: "Keeping the Linux fanboy occupied while stealing his neglected and undernourished child."
 
The FanBoy Advance

Directions: Head straight to GP32x and begin using immediately
 
Item Name: Nintendo Pii
Slogan: You'll Wii in your pants playing with it


Item Name: Duke Nukem Forever and ever...
Slogan: It's coming...coming...It's just cuming...


Item Name: daclassicgamingmaster
Slogan: If you don't have anything nice to say, then please don't say anything at all.
 
SONY said:
Item Name: Nintendo Pii
Slogan: You'll Wii in your pants playing with it


Item Name: Duke Nukem Forever and ever...
Slogan: It's coming...coming...It's just cuming...


Item Name: daclassicgamingmaster
Slogan: If you don't have anything nice to say, then please don't say anything at all.
I don't really see how that could be my slogan....It's more like you trying to tell me something. Please follow the rules of the thread.
 
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