Funny Links And Jokes


TelcoLou posted on Dec 10 2004 at 12:30 AM said:
Were did it start out I wonder?

I don't get it.

:lol:

Here ya go:

NS,R Explanation


yep. it's shit. it doesn't even make any sense with the explanation, which basically says 'it makes no sense'

therefore this 'joke' should be disqualified as it is actually not a joke.

Just like: what do you call a guy with a squid for a head?

answer: harold mittens



that 'joke' just pissed me off.
 
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my suggestion:


2 parrots were standing on a perch.

One says 'Uurgh! It stinks of fish here!"





that's the joke.
geddit?
 
Rico posted on Dec 10 2004 at 02:54 AM said:
yeah, when you're asked for 'the worst jokes', you have to provide a joke. That was just a feeble attempt at one.

Bullshit. I made no attempt whatsoever. :lol:
 
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Ok ok, I'll play by the "rules"

This kid, little Johnny, was playing ball in his backyard when "CRASH!!" He hit the ball right thru the kitchen window.

His mother beat the shit out of him, like any good mother would, all the while reminding him "Just you wait 'till your father gets home!!!", then banished him to his bedrom to await further punishment from his father.

This didn't sit well with little Johnny, so he decided to run away.

With a small duffel bag under his arm, and his life's savings (all $7.27 worth), he was on his way.

When he got to town, he then came upon a construction worker, doing cement work on the sidewalk, who noticed little Johnny's grim visage, and asked "Hey there young man ... why so sad?" Johhny then imparted his tale of woe to this kind stranger who then offered some advice; "Well kid, you should go home ... I'm sure your mother's worried about you and besides ... it builds character to take your punishment like a man."

Little Johnny thanked the man for his advice, but decided to go on his journey, far far away from home.

A short while later, he came upon a kindly old woman walking her dog. She too noticed the sadness on little Johhny's face and asked what was the matter. Johhny told the old woman his awful story. Her advice to him was much the same "Oh my, you should go home son ... I'm quite sure your mommy is worried sick about you! Besides, no problems ever get solved by running from them"

Little Johnny thanked the elderly lady, and went on his way, determined to escape another beating.

Some time later, Johnny saw a police officer walking toward him. He became worried that if his mother had reported him missing, the cop would bring him home and then he'd 'get it' for sure. He ducked into the nearest store-front, which happened to be Madame Lucille the Fortune Teller.

"Come in come in, little man!" She noticed his duffel bag and distraught look on his face and could tell what was up. "Sit down, and let Madame Lucille probe the mysteries of your future ..."

"I see you are on a journey ... a journey taking you far away from home ... and .. wait .. I see a woman ... she's crying. I also see a man holding her in his arms .. he's crying too ... they have suffered a loss ... a great loss."

At this point, little Johnny started to feel bad, and decided he should go home after all. He thanked Madame Lucille for her advice, and ran out of the store as fast as he could.

In his haste, little Johnny dashed out between two parked cars into the street and was hit by a speeding truck, killing him instantly!

What's the moral of this story?

Look both ways before crossing the street.
 
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

(Is there anyone who HASN'T heard that one?)

Here's one more example of astounding bad taste:

...

-Knock Knock!
-Who's there?
-Shit.
-Shit who?
-Not "shit who". Just shit.*

*the door is opened and a pile of shit** is seen on the porch
**get it? It was just SHIT! OMFGLOL funnay! :lol:
 
Axeman posted on Dec 10 2004 at 10:17 AM said:
Both the worst and best joke ever....

There were two fishes in a tank,

one says to the other "You know how to drive this thing?"

:p

I'd say it's one of the best... Didn't somebody from this board use that one in their sig?

Edit: no wait....
That one went something like...
one says to the other "ok, I'll drive - you man the cannons"
 
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this one is original german, but still i hope youll get it ^^
a man walks down the street. he steps on a cookie. the cookie says "crack"
 
Nilsiboy posted on Dec 10 2004 at 02:20 PM said:
this one is original german, but still i hope youll get it ^^
a man walks down the street. he steps on a cookie. the cookie says "crack"


ummmm..................




heres one,



two nuns were sitting in a bath, one said to the other, "wheres the soap?"

The other nun replied happily. "yes, it does rather"



HAH HAH HAH BOOM BOOM :D



EDIT:Thanx Gp32x Admin, u made me look like a berk, well done <_<
 
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