(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


The mortician ran enraged to his apprentice:
"Did you put a shrimp between the legs of that beautiful dead girl?"
The apprentice was baffled, looked at the dead body and said:
"That's not a shrimp, that's her clitoris"
The mortician replied:
"How strange, it tasted like a shrimp!"
 
The mortician ran enraged to his apprentice:
"Did you put a shrimp between the legs of that beautiful dead girl?"
The apprentice was baffled, looked at the dead body and said:
"That's not a shrimp, that's her clitoris"
The mortician replied:
"How strange, it tasted like a shrimp!"

 
“My friend crashed his motorbike. He’s brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.”
“You know, I’m really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.”
 
The daughter's new friend rings at the door and her mother opens.
"Hello, I'm Tobias and I am here to screw your daughter."
"To whaaaat?" replies the mother furiously.
"Tobias" he answers proudfully.
 
Well Tobias comes accross a little rude, but he must be frustrated. With that name a man can only work choosing resistors to attach to a transistor or picking wrong questions for surveys...
 
The joke works in german as well, but the guy need to be called Umberto... But with that name career opportunities aren't that better than being called Tobias I guess :p
 
From an slashdot comment:

Two planets meet. The first one asks: "How are you?"
"Not so well", the second answered "I've got the Homo Sapiens."
"Don't worry," the other replied, "I had the same. That won't last long; they trigger a fever and then bake themselves away."
 
Here's one from my 11 year old daughter:

A woman is walking home with a Christmas tree under her arm. A gentleman asks "will you be putting that up yourself?". The woman replies "no - it's going in the living room"
Post automatically merged:

What's the difference between me and cancer? My father didn't beat cancer.
 
My father fell asleep in front of the TV.
I put a picture of our female neighbor, some tissues, and a pot of Vaseline next to him. Let's see how my mother reacts.
 
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