I Have Resigned


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Being emotional and too quick to react/type an answer is not usually recommended if you want to be a mod. I like the mods to be reasonable people, think before they do something and certainly not actively lead a discussion on a topic, since it's very much like talking with someone while that person has a gun on your head : asymmetry of power for between members involved in the discussion. 

If you can't do that (whether it's Kumaki or anyone else), you probably shouldn't be a mod and enjoy the freedom of being a simple member. 
 
C - Yes, I posted in the Mod Forum, asking for help.  I was ignored and laughed at.  I'm quite positive they were ENJOYING watching me being torn apart and fed to the wolves.  And that is what hurts more than anything else.
This is a blatant lie. You were neither ignored, nor laughed at, by any of the other mods. Please retract this statement.
 
...but you seem to have changed your position twice now...ha ha.  One wonders if you were a pilot and you were staunchly for the right of passengers to yell "bomb" on your airplane...where does it (censorship) start and end?
Yeah, I never liked censorship, I told that just to force me to search some kind of agreement with who wants to use it, but when you commented I thought that censorship is really difficult to be controlled once started... so better if it's not used at all, and leave people decide by themselves
 
^^^ OKay, I think that I get it...We'll get along swimmingly, PowerGod.   :)  


No worries and no fights, unless you're a vegan that shoots AK-47's....then I don't know...
 
The decision to resign as a mod was appropriate, Yolanda.
Yolanda?

1651_dbs1.png



D.
 
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I think the correct way of dealing things would have been if any mod (or anyone else) seeing an excessively nasty post aimed at K (or anyone else) had reported it.
Then we (the mod team) should have looked at each one and objectively considered whether it warranted any action singly, or as a repeated occurrence.
 

Objectivity is key here.

If a post is truly offensive, then that should be clear from reading it.

If not, getting upset doesn't change anything.
 
One would think this thread has run its course and perhaps would be best closed.
 
I think the correct way of dealing things would have been if any mod (or anyone else) seeing an excessively nasty post aimed at K (or anyone else) had reported it.

Then we (the mod team) should have looked at each one and objectively considered whether it warranted any action singly, or as a repeated occurrence.
 
Part of the problem though here though was that no-one was being excessively nasty except Kumaki herself, and she was the only one who perceived the posts directed at her as being such.

- Neelix
 
Part of the problem though here though was that no-one was being excessively nasty except Kumaki herself, and she was the only one who perceived the posts directed at her as being such.


- Neelix
Kumaki is certainly too sensitive for critizism and too demanding, but I don't agree she is not being a victim here. http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12650-easy-rpg-having-nothing-but-trouble-half-solved/

ZXDunny is clearly deliberately pushing her buttons with his 'funny' remarks, and he got a little help from milkshake too. By publishing a PM he definitely crossed a line and after that Kumaki was going bezerk. 
 
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Well I really didn't intend anything to be honest I was just picking up on an observation that was starting to annoy me. I can read words fine without capital letters (especially ones that don't even need emphasising) I'm not an idiot.

And as I already said I'll just put up with it if she really must continue doing it.

Anyway this is all just my opinion not necessarily fact so please don't be too hard on me. -_-
 
Yeah I don't know, maybe the whole "why didn't anyone support me?" thing isn't directed to everyone but if it is all I can really say is this: People didn't support you because they don't like getting involved in personal conflicts. That doesn't necessarily mean everyone stands behind everything your opponent is saying. It means they don't want to throw oil on a raging fire because most people who come on these forums don't do it for the forum drama.In the past forum people have said really offensive things to me, way worse than anything anyone said to you here.. and I know I've felt, man, I wish someone would tell this person they crossed a line. But that's an emotional response and if I thought it through I'd know there's a good reason why people shouldn't do that. And they rarely did. At best I'd get a friendly PM from someone saying "just ignore that guy." You've more or less got to fight your own battles here, although people would probably prefer the battle fighting was kept to a minimum all around.And if you end up flying off the deep end and focusing a lot of energy on making an argument for how much you're the victim and how much you need help it's going to look a lot worse in everyone's eyes. Even if it was clearly someone else who started it. People don't like it when someone demands that kind of attention to themselves and blows things way out of proportion. I've seen this sort of thing happen a lot as a child, those kids seemed to just beg for more and more negative attention... (and I have no doubt I was one of those kids at some point in some circumstances, even if I didn't realize it). I have this expectation that adults would have learned the futility of it and not put so much investment in it. I know it can feel bad to just let something go and stop investing time in it, like you feel like you've been walked all over and are letting bad things happen, but you should bear it because in the long run you'll feel better. Just don't engage.
This ^


It may come off as sounding harsh, and I certainly don't condone vitriol, but some perspective is required here. It's just an Internet board. Populated by lots of teenage boys, and some older people with teenage dispositions. Emotional distance/judgement is required.
 
Well I really didn't intend anything to be honest I was just picking up on an observation that was starting to annoy me. I can read words fine without capital letters (especially ones that don't even need emphasising) I'm not an idiot. And as I already said I'll just put up with it if she really must continue doing it. Anyway this is all just my opinion not necessarily fact so please don't be too hard on me. -_-
Nothing wrong with that opinion (that is probably shared by most members here).  Your comments were also not intended to provoke, but the comments from ZXDunny certainly were. 
 
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Kumaki is certainly too sensitive for critizism and too demanding, but I don't agree she is not being a victim here. http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12650-easy-rpg-having-nothing-but-trouble-half-solved/

ZXDunny is clearly deliberately pushing her buttons with his 'funny' remarks, and he got a little help from milkshake too. By publishing a PM he definitely crossed a line and after that Kumaki was going bezerk.
I never said that. I agree he was deliberately pushing buttons, and also that he took it too far. But at the same time nothing he said was particularly nasty, or malicious. There was no reason for a mod to step in, and by the time there was such a reason, it was already too late.

- Neelix
 
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I really cannot accept Kumaki blaming the other mods (including me) for ignoring her, not supporting her and even laughing at her. This is a blatant lie.

There are at least 6 discussion threads in the internal mod report center about the Kumaki-ZXDunny incident, some of them are quite long. Normally I would prefer to keep that internal mod discussion internal, but I have no other choice than to quote some of it, in order to defend myself against Kumaki's accusations. I will simply quote what I said there myself; I have nothing to hide (not that anyone else has something to hide). I will not quote anyone else, since it was a private, internal discussion and I respect that. So I'm not going to quote what Kumaki or anyone else said, I'll just quote everything I said in the conversation. I think it shows that 1) I did not ignore Kumaki; and 2) I did my best to support her. Since I'm exhaustively quoting everything I said (you'll have to take my word for that, but Kumaki or any other mod can verify this), it also shows that 3) I didn't laugh at her.

The first report thread (two weeks ago) was related to this post:

http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12541-talk-about-gta/?view=findpost&p=236397

In that thread, I said the following:



On the one hand, ZXDunny (and DaMummy) seems to enjoy trolling a lot, and the more you react to their trolling, the more they enjoy it. At that point, they don't care about what's right and wrong or what arguments are more convincing, they just enjoy the "drama" they're unleashing. This can be very annoying. Both of them have repeatedly objected against me being a mod too.

On the other hand, they are well-known and generally quite valued members of our community.

I recommend thinking at least twice before reacting to their trolling. In my experience, a short (1 sentence) light-hearted, somewhat ironic, if possible funny, reply works best. It's the best way to show that you're not falling for their bait, no drama is going to happen, and you're in full control of yourself. That's the best way to deal with trolling.

Long walls of text with lots of bold and CAPS (Overgauss-style) show that you really care a lot, and that you're very passionate about it (even if you do your best to keep the actual text very polite and even formal). That doesn't work in the case of trolls, because they thrive on those kinds of reactions. They laugh and think "Whoa, look at the amount of drama I created!".

In short: don't feed the trolls!
The next report thread was about this post: http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12238-what-arcade-games-would-you-play-in-a-compo-would-you/?view=findpost&p=237036



In that thread, I said the following:


Nobody is a saint in this story, but since Kumaki is a mod and ZXDunny is not, we have to apply more rigorous standards to Kumaki than to ZXDunny. I can understand how this can feel unjust to Kumaki.

Kumaki: you'll have to get yourself a thicker elephant skin, because otherwise it will be too easy for others to keep getting under your skin. You can put people on your "shitlist", but if that list becomes too long, there won't be any modding left to do.

I recommend a one or two week self-imposed cool down period to Kumaki.
and


We need to be able to mutually trust and respect one another as mods. Moxie's concerns are shared by several other mods, including me. Some of the trust is gone now because of this debacle, and it needs to be rebuilt before we can move on.

The best way to do that would be for Kumaki to somehow acknowledge that regardless of whatever ZXDunny said, intended to say or presumably intended to say, her own public statements were in a style that is not suitable, especially not for a mod.

Being capable of dealing with trolls in a professional manner is an important skill for any mod. I think this is a skill Kumaki needs to work on. I have no problem with that in itself. But the essential thing is that Kumaki has to be prepared to work on that skill. I still get the impression that this is not the case; Kumaki still essentially only keeps repeating "but... but... the troll is WRONG!!!!1eleven11! Can't you guys see?!!". As long as Kumaki doesn't see and acknowledge that she will have to work on her troll-handling skills, we cannot simply move on and ignore it. We cannot have a mod amongst us that will keep feeding the trolls; mods should clean up the mess, not create it.

and



Please stop shouting.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel unsupported by your fellow mods. I don't think that's the case though. Not getting a single ounce of support from us would have meant stripping you of your mod rights and giving you a warning point for your shouting and ranting. That didn't happen, did it? The fact that we're still patiently discussing how to avoid these debacles in the future is in itself a token of our appreciation of your abilities and potential future as a mod, and it certainly is a way in which we are supporting you, even though it may not seem like that from your point of view at this point .

The next report thread was started by myself, referring to this post:

http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12650-easy-rpg-having-nothing-but-trouble-half-solved/?view=findpost&p=239028

and my report message was the following:
 

Kumaki, please take this opportunity to end this shite NOW. Simply retract your accusations. Put ZXDunny on your private "shitlist" if you want to, but stop the public fighting now.
There was another report thread about http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12650-easy-rpg-having-nothing-but-trouble-half-solved/?view=findpost&p=238457 in which I didn't write anything.

Then there was a report thread about http://boards.openpandora.org/index.php/topic/12650-easy-rpg-having-nothing-but-trouble-half-solved/?view=findpost&p=238250, in which I said:


I agree that Kumaki needs a break and has to work on her troll resistance Zen skills.

But I also think ZXDunny is deliberately trolling and trying to push Kumaki's buttons. In my opinion, he deserves at least an informal warning for that, and perhaps even a formal warning point. Yes, Kumaki should be able to deal with his trolling. But he shouldn't be trolling in the first place.
and


Where are the forum rules anyway? Looks like the old Prometheus rules cause an infinite redirect. Maybe we should publish an update of those rules.

I agree that in no way ZXDunny is explicitly violating forum rules by politely (which in some cases can be worse than rudely!) pushing Kumaki's buttons, but in my opinion that doesn't mean we cannot warn him for his behavior. If he would violate a forum rule, that would be grounds for immediate sanctions. If he doesn't violate any rules, but is still behaving like an annoying (though polite) troll, we cannot immediately sanction him, but we can warn him and kindly ask him to behave nicer, no? Surely our task as mods is not just to enforce the strict rules, but also to attempt to maintain a friendly atmosphere.

Anyway, I still think Kumaki has to take a break (I recommend at least 1 week) to get some perspective and to work on her troll-ignoring skills.




Finally there was a report thread about a forum thread which has been hidden, in which I said the following:

Kumaki, I don't think you're unwanted by anyone, but I think it is starting to become clear that you don't have the right personality to be a mod: you're impatient and impulsive, and you have a talent to interpret all kinds of things as a personal attack on you. I think you can be a respected member of this forum, and contribute in that way to the Pandora scene. But I agree that it's a good idea for you to resign as a mod. This is a wise decision. Please don't spoil it now by trying to make us (or yourself) feel guilty.
and



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The first duty of any mod is not to create a mess. The second duty is to clean up the mess. The third duty is to prevent messes from being created.

You basically screwed up your duty #1. We tried to do duty #2 and to give you advice that would help towards duty #3. Instead of taking our advice, you kept on screwing up duty #1 to the point where many of us recommended you to take a break from modding. You decided not to follow our recommendation. You kept on screwing up your duty #1 instead. Now it got to the point where you're publicly attacking your fellow mods in your resignation/ragequit thread, and telling us that we are and should feel guilty. This is completely unacceptable.
 
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Yes and I PM'd zxdunny asking him to stop.

But in all cases it was Kumaki's drama that would get it going again.

Very unbecoming of a Mod.
 
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