(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner


My father fell asleep in front of the TV.
I put a picture of our female neighbor, some tissues, and a pot of Vaseline next to him. Let's see how my mother reacts.
Mother enters the room, checks that the tissues are clean, the pot is closed and trousers zipped:
- OK. He gets asleep before starting with her too. At least now I know it's not me.
 
I took my grandma to a fish spa centre where the little fish eat your dead skin for only £45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
 
Peony: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Me: A fsh.
Peony: No, blind.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-Still no idea,
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no ears?
-Anything you like, it can't hear you!
 
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-Still no idea,
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no ears?
-Anything you like, it can't hear you!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-Still no idea,
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
-Still no fucking idea!
 
Git1 forked Confuzzled's joke :cool:
No, the correct last answer to the additional question Git1 posed is 'a doe'. Doh!.

The correct last question is "What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitalia?"

I guess this is a pull request on the fork.

Further bad jokes of the same ilk:

What do you call a deaf elephant?
- Anything you like, it can't hear you!

I say, I say, my dog has no nose!
- How does it smell?
Terrible!

Where do you find the Andes?
-At the end of the Armies.

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
-Three. the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

Which country do short-necked giraffes come from?
-Hungary!
 
No, the correct last answer to the additional question Git1 posed is 'a doe'. Doh!.

The correct last question is "What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitalia?"

Yeah, it's a flawed pun that has been going around in Oz since I was a kid, but it 'sounds funny', so it passes the 'pub test'. Now; I'm sure a doe would have genitalia? :p


Anywho, back on topic:

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted.
 
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