(Bad)Joke Appreciation Corner

[pyrat]

How do you call a person who loves animals, keeps some at home, but is always afraid of what may happen to them?
A petsimist.

 

[Null]

Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

 

[Null]

Why did the science teacher read a book about helium?
Because it was uplifting.

 

[Null]

If you're in need of a job, you could try Search and Rescue.
They're always looking for people.

 

[Null]

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

 

[Null]

Jacob quit his job after his boss started paying him in vegetables.
He could not live on that celery.

 

[Null]

Getting a job at a paperless office is great.
Until you have to go to the bathroom.

 

[Null]

I asked my algebra teacher if I would ever use it when I grew up.
He said that I wouldn’t, but one of the smart kids might.

 

[Null]

Why did the window go to the hospital?
He had pane.

 

[Null]

Why is dark spelled with a "K" and not a "C"?
Because you can't C in the dark.

 

[Null]

Did you know there's no official training for a rubbish collector?
They just pick it up as they go.

 

[Null]

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped.
It was otter chaos.

 

[Null]

My friend is in the hospital after he ate a giant bacon cheeseburger.
It was mine.

 

[Null]

No matter the medium, a well-done burger joke is rare.

 

[Null]

How do you get straight A's in school?
Use a ruler.

 

[Null]

Mr Kingsley taught his kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order.
And then he picked the movie and pizza he wanted because he’s the one with the money.