My Husband, His Pandora And I


zebrafinch

Still Fresh
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
7
Age
37
Location
the Netherlands
Although I had heard him anticipating his pandora, and seen him watching the status of the assembling day after day after day, my husband was never the dreadful husband he apparantly could have been while waiting for his Pandora.
Listening to his stories about what amazing wonders that tiny machine could produce, even heated me up a bit.
It was an incredible joy and relief when the little box of magic finally arrived.
Thank god it was finally over, I thought.

but boy was I wrong.

Already within the first 24 hours I started to belief that from that moment on I would always be the runner up in the list of my-husbands-most-precious-possesions.
Even to a question as simple as 'can I get you a beer?' a respond would not come for at least 5 minuten until there was the 'hmm? didya-say summin?'. Jealousy was not allowed, since this was just a machine he had waited so long for and yaddayaddayadda. I don't think i need to tell you all how time- and attention absorbing a freshly deliverd Pandora can be.

I thought of many ways to get rid of my new competitor, but putting the plans into action would eventually mean spending more money and time waiting on the same machine, thus for it to start all over again. (It would also ruin the idea of myself walking around being all geeky and cool with a pandora.)

My husband beat me to it anyway.

Somewhere within the second week of him having his new found love, he went out somewhere. I had to stay at home, but of course, little miss Pandora would easily slid into the pocket of his jacket, so she could go with him.

when he returned, hours later, he was as drunk a man can be.
He fell asleep in the backyard snorring like a walrus.
6 hours later I recommended he'd move his ass to the bedroom.
He asked where his jacket was.
I told him I has brought it inside.
He asked if his Pandora was in it.
..
-O joy- I thought for a slight (just a slight slight) second, knowing that the weight of the jacket was definitely not sufficient enough to have carried the pandora.
the uh-oh look in my face made him sober up in the slighest second of realisation.

'could youve gotten pickpocketed?'
'no.'
'did you take it out of your jacket, used it or showed it to anyone?'
'no!'
'did you take your jacket off at some point?'
'hell no.'
'did you sit down on the ground anywhere on your walk home?'
'..'
'.. go ahead.. go look for it.'

It was a long shot.
But after 6 hours of being gone, he found it back.
There she lied, forgotten and forsaken in the dirt between some middle-aged-woman's pettunias.

And now she is back, oh yes she is.

But there is no doubt in my mind that whoever takes first place, my husband surely treats me better than that damned box.

And if he doesn't; What's his, is mine, right?
 
Asteroid said:
Great read.

Are there more out there with a similar story?.

there are probably a LOT of spouses, girlfriends etc with similar stories, but most of them won't be 'out here' I think..
 
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zebra said:
Listening to his stories about what amazing wonders that tiny machine could produce, even heated me up a bit.

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MDave said:
Don't compare yourself to a toy ... you're above an object that's sole purpose is recreational entertainment and bending things a bit, perhaps productivity work.

Nice story though! :p

dont worry..
although the base facts of the story are very true, it may have been dramatised a little by my writing.
thanks for the heads up though. :)
 
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zebra said:
Asteroid said:
Great read.

Are there more out there with a similar story?.

there are probably a LOT of spouses, girlfriends etc with similar stories, but most of them won't be 'out here' I think..

Well, you'll get my story once mitosis gets his Pandora and has run it through a few thousand tests, benchmarks, and examinations.

For now, it's pretty much him ripping his hair out every month or two when Craig says this or Craig says that about some theoretical possible change to the plans and my dear husband's world starts falling apart so he beats me. :eek:

:p

;)
 
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EvilUnicorn said:
Well, you'll get my story once mitosis gets his Pandora and has run it through a few thousand tests, benchmarks, and examinations.

For now, it's pretty much him ripping his hair out every month or two when Craig says this or Craig says that about some theoretical possible change to the plans and my dear husband's world starts falling apart so he beats me. :eek:

:p

;)
those nasty little machines really can kick them in the balls better than we ever could.
 
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zebra said:
those nasty little machines really can kick them in the balls better than we ever could.

:blink: ...Maybe it's a good thing that I'll be single when I get mine.
 
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a good read indeed. i was smiling through the entirety of it. sounds almost like a story from the Romanticism period, a bit like Mary Shelley's.

i can give you a nothing-to-do-with-literature advice, though: boys don't share truly personal possessions. that includes toothbrushes, weapons and gadgets. a silent rule in my house is: if some gadget is of interest to both parties, each one gets his/her own unit. that said, my wife has no interest in my more exotic/geeky hw like my (yet to arrive) pandora. if you really like the device you can always place an order with craig - you have as much right to one as your husband ; )
 
Remote controls belong to men.

Don't ask me why. It's some wiring in my brain contrary to my gender equality beliefs.

Also, what's with people 'borrowing' their partner's phone to read their text messages? I mean I know why, just it's really not on.
 
darkblu said:
a good read indeed. i was smiling through the entirety of it. sounds almost like a story from the Romanticism period, a bit like Mary Shelley's.

i can give you a nothing-to-do-with-literature advice, though: boys don't share truly personal possessions. that includes toothbrushes, weapons and gadgets. a silent rule in my house is: if some gadget is of interest to both parties, each one gets his/her own unit. that said, my wife has no interest in my more exotic/geeky hw like my (yet to arrive) pandora. if you really like the device you can always place an order with craig - you have as much right to one as your husband ; )

for the first bit: thanks for the compliment. *blush*
and about the sharing bit..: we do both have our own playstation3 :)
 
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zebra, you could make a Photo of you side by side with the Pandora. Our humble Community then can judge who wins ...or so... ;)
 
It was funny until "My husband beat me to it anyway."

What a dousche, just dump him. You don't deserve to get slammed by your husband and beaten up by a Pandora!
Seriously where do you live, I could represent you, you have nothing to fear.

MDave said:
Don't compare yourself to a toy ... you're above an object that's sole purpose is recreational entertainment and bending things a bit, perhaps productivity work.

That's what she said!

In case noone figured it out, it was all a healthy dose of sarcasm, LOLies!
 
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in case you do decide to smash the thing with a baseball bat, gold club, wall, etc. you better put it up on youtube, the smashing and the male reaction
 
DaMummy said:
in case you do decide to smash the thing with a baseball bat, gold club, wall, etc. you better put it up on youtube, the smashing and the male reaction

I feel like that would be far more devastating then those "smashmyps3.com" videos...at least there were millions more of those on the way.
 
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quadomatic said:
DaMummy said:
in case you do decide to smash the thing with a baseball bat, gold club, wall, etc. you better put it up on youtube, the smashing and the male reaction

I feel like that would be far more devastating then those "smashmyps3.com" videos...at least there were millions more of those on the way.
Maybe we can apply with WWF or whoever for the Pandora to be an endangered species.
Then smashing it with a baseball bat would be a heinous crime.
 
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quadomatic said:
DaMummy said:
in case you do decide to smash the thing with a baseball bat, gold club, wall, etc. you better put it up on youtube, the smashing and the male reaction

I feel like that would be far more devastating then those "smashmyps3.com" videos...at least there were millions more of those on the way.

If I was a millionaire, this would happen:

Anyone still waiting for a Pandora could win one from me, in a Who Wants To be A Millionaire type gameshow.

I would would fly you all out to my studio. All the questions would be about Ed's comments to various Disney films. Losing would result in the Pandora being driven over by a monkey in a steamroller.

The audience would then be prompted to boo you.
 
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